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#09

Monday, June 13, 2005

Things I've learnt catering to Singaporeans' philanthropic whims

1. That Singaporeans are able to momentarily tear their eyes off their living room staple - The Television and regard you with the spirit and vigour typically associated with severe cases of Post Tramatic Stress Disorder.

2. Said individuals are able to deliver a curt "I'm busy." - emphasis on the full stop there - before reverting their attention back to their regularly scheduled programming.

Either

3. The architects behind the design of the older HDB flats had all been trapped in an elevator at some point in their lives (quite possibly all together during one time as part of their endurance training to become proficient HDB architects) and have been vengefully, psychologically scarred so utterly permanently that they have collectively subconsciously repressed the painful memory.

Or
4. The architects have a very warped sense of humour that ceases to be funny after you've climbed the 378290 flight of stairs in the past 6 hours.

5. That Singaporeans can own television sets you have to strain sideways in the flat's doorway to obtain a better spawling panoramic view of and still refuse to donate to charity.

6. That Singaporeans are married to their television.
You know, certain population policies could be reviewed. Instead of baby bonuses, tax cuts, advertising and all that, maybe television should just be outlawed.

7. Only outlaws will have televisions. Many many outlaws.

8. There are good people in Singapore, overflowing with generosity, kindness, graciousness, harbouring profound consideration for their Fellow Man, acting shining exemplars of noble humanity.

9. The aforementioned individuals are usually not at home.

10. The NKF is an evil corporation monopolising Singapore's market of Goodwill, sucking and the scarce charity out of the population and must be stopped at all costs because any entity supporting the careers of Mediacorp artists belongs to the biblically undesirable, fiery pits of damnation.

en at 1:37 am

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