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Monday, May 30, 2005

My Grandmama versus the TV

The television was showing a jewellery commercial. I'm not sure which brand they were advertising exactly (edit: Lee Hwa Jewellery, watch for it), or even what the commercial was about - after prolonged viewing, they all tend to blend together into one cohesive syrupy-sweet glittery monstrosity that sends boyfriends and husbands scurrying.

Without any warning whatsoever, my Grandmama launches into something of a tirade against the idiocy of that particular jewellery commercial.

Cantonese expletives aside: "What is that stupid woman doing? Walking down a deserted street alone and wearing so much jewellery! Nobody to show off to, what is the use? She walks under the street light, flashes her jewellery. Stands in front of a shop with nobody inside and her jewellery flashes some more. So bright but still no people around. Later she get robbed than she know! So silly one."

That had me chortling for about ten minutes. My brother must have thought I was having an epileptic fit, especially when I keeled over and kept laughing. Formidable logic there is.

Another night, while messages were scrolling across the television screen telling the public Channel 5's version of breaking news: the OC will air at 11:30pm.

My Grandmama takes one look at the information and wonders aloud, "What is that? Oh-see? Aw-see ah?" Which in Cantonese, translates to: What is that? O-shit? Passing shit?

Even for (or perhaps especially so for) one who doesn't watch the much acclaimed the OC (ed: sounds rather like The Chinese High, donnit? Can't miss out the the in there. And then it became Hwa Chong Institution, although no one is fooled)
, hilarity ensued.

en at 7:35 pm