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#09

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Why why why why

The weather is making me cranky. In fact, it's getting so hot 'n' humid that the air-conditioning in the house (more specifically, my room's) has been turned (gasp) on for (gasp) prolonged use. It might ultimately result in (god forbid) a higher electricity bill.

This deviant act might never have been allowed to continue if my mom had not taken the incisive decision of terminating the household's newspaper subscription. It appears to be an established law of physics that everyone should hate bills. The relationship between person and unpaid bill is akin to inverse gravity, a strange phenomenon that causes one side to always attempt to repel the other. Unfortunately, with certain individuals such as my mother, this adversion is particularly powerful, producing the cosmos-crushing space-time-bending forces of a collasping star.

To limit the number of bills and hence, protect the structural integrity of the galaxy, my mother decided to get rid of frivolous bills, such as our newspaper subscription. This does not mean we do not buy newspapers. We simply do not subscribe to them, thereby generating the dreaded bill. Granted, the accumulated cash spent buying each individual edition outstrips what we would have paid for the subscription but it is a small price to pay to preserve our space-time continuum.

How does this relate to our transpasses in using our installed air-conditioning? Aside from the fact that the destructive effects of Mom + Bill are strangely negated when said Mom is inside the room enjoying the air-conditioning (an anomalous loophole still being investigated by top scientists), it is not the amount of the bill that matters as much as the number of bills. This is the only logic that accounts for our lack of a newspaper subscription and yet, our continued subscription to cable television and cable internet.

Unfortunately, no air-conditioning exists around the vicinity of the computer. Senseless advertisments shall continue to be targeted.

Like the one on the MRT screens about jumping cans. At least we have a clue about what the company is marketing: a range of canned products. I imagine fruit, preserved meats, that sorta thing... I'm not entirely sure about the exact range of products they offer, or the all-important name of the company the ad is so vigorously rooting for because the advertisment ever so sleathly steals my attention away from information about the product to the engrossing action taking place: jumping, dancing, bouncing cans.

These sprightly metal containers are no, not actual things but animated cans. It explains why they are able to leap off their shelves en masse with fabulous aplomb and parade down the animated asle in ecstatic formation. My question is: How does this make me want to buy your (whatever your company's name is, I was too distracted) product? As cheap as that computer animation looks (a rule to follow: the more shiny and plastic the animation is, the cheaper the animation budget - ever watched the Final Fantasy movie? ), it must have still cost quite a considerate sum to make and broadcast. I and a generous portion of the population, do not quite get the appeal of jumping cans.

I think the worst advertisment on television has to be that mattress one. You know, the one that begins with that somewhat-middle-age somewhat-chubby supposedly-married couple in bed. I know the media is superficial and materialistic and shallow and evil and the Devil's advocate. But do I really need to see an overweight couple in bed? I already know how I am going to end up twenty years down the road, there's no point rubbing the image in.

And they cannot speak proper English. I am not talking about the posh Queen's English we reserve for use in our Oral exams. The woman saids something like "Hon-neee, what kind of mattress is this?" and the husband flips up the bed covers to reveal numerous layers of sponge and pulpy mattresses stacked like pancakes. Hey, that's more than what I sleep on, missy. At least they are keeping their airy dialogue to a minimum.

I only wish they'd cut out the finishing line where the whiney wife (urgh, sterotyping) hugs her hubby and thanks her "Hon-neee" for buying them a proper mattress. Dude, if this keeps up, getting a comfy bed is the least of your marriage problems. Get a comfy couch instead. And have a lawyer ready.

I hope this suffocating weather doesn't keep up. I haven't even started on the stuff they are showing on TV mobile.

en at 12:36 pm

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