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#09

Monday, March 21, 2005

There and Back again

When you are not getting paid and not contractually obligated to wake up at 6:30am, wash-up, stagger out of the suddenly-overwhelming comfort of your bed and lug a heavy load to a place you bear no significant amount of affection toward (at least in the present moment), it feels just like any typical student's early morning trudge to school after a week-long holiday. The only difference is that I'm no longer a student. And I am doing this because I would like to maintain the illusion that I am a decent human being (relative to other scumbags).

The amount of gossip, rantings and complaints that abound in a typical staff-room (I realise I am generalising here - I've only been in 2 staffrooms so far, but the obvious parallels are too staggering to avoid generalisations... In other words... I don't particularly care) should not be surprising. Indeed, however inappropriate or unsavoury these behaviours seem, these few outlets have evolved throughout the eons since the first primeval cave-dwelling parents-meet-the-teachers session and have played an invaluable role in maintaining teachers' sanity, thus making sure that the students stay in the caves and out of the trees, hence keeping precious evolution on track.

Memorable quotations from my brief career as a relief-teacher:

Teacher (referring to a particular student): "She is sooo irritating. She's like ELMO. You know Elmo?"
Me: "Er, yes. "
Teacher: "She's like Elmo. Only evil."

Teacher #1: "I'm going to visit the student hospitalised at NUH."
Teacher #2: "Could you get her to... [mutters some tasks, the specifics of which I cannot remember] "
Teacher #1 (mock horror): "What kind of SA (Student Affairs) are you?"
[pause.]
Teacher#1: "Should I bring her maths homework?"

[On a student's script.]
Q. Why are elections held?
Student's Ans: To pick a new PAP.

en at 5:30 pm

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