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Sunday, March 27, 2005

Consumer is King

I just bought a pair of expensive pants from TopShop: the last in a string of purchases since January when I started work. The siren in my head more commonly atuned to When Animals Attack,Worst Car Disasters or Mother Nature Always Has The Last Laugh or any situation FOX might make a reality television special of (with myself cast as reluctant star), has found new purpose in stressing me out over such trivial matters as Buying Work Clothes.

I admit that a general cheer did ring out when the spending floodgates broketh but being the slow person that I am, it might be a while before the state of emergency is called off and my creative brain juices quit generating excuses for purchases (as opposed to more productive uses, like... conjuring pleasant dreams, or such). So I only have my warped evolutionary instincts to blame for my shopping binges. And my huge delusions.

TopShop gave me a 400ml bottle of water labelled 'Drink and Shop' which is rather cute, you've got to admit. Shopping expeditions are reknowned for their staggering durations and immense pressures and staying hydrated is always important, especially when quick reflexes and keen faculties mean all the difference.

Especially when one is shopping alone without the invaluable assistance of friends, eager to offer disparaging remarks such as "NOnonono... I think...ah... No." and helpful advice like, "Wellll... it's... oookaaaaayyy... if you like it then BUY it lah...". If you're lucky, they might even go as far as engaging in absorbing conversation behind your back as you shoulder on - the public acknowledgement of "She's hopeless. Com'on."

I do not think I am materialistic. Being materialistic means that instead of you owning your things, your things actually own you. They take over your life such that your moods, your happiness depend on owning things. So as I was deciding whether to buy my over-priced pants, I'm talking to myself (as is usually the case when I'm shopping alone). My internal dialogue went something like:

Me: "Shit, you're a nice pair of pants."
Me: "If only you didn't cost so bloody much for a pair of pants..."
Me: "You're getting worked up over buying pants! You're losing control! Your things are starting to own you...!"
Me: "Ahhh nooooo! I shall own you! I r t3h l33t! ph33r m3!"

And then I bought the pants. I could've sworn I heard a snigger.

en at 12:55 pm